Thursday, April 7, 2011

Fuck you, bacon.


Oh hey girl. You love bacon? Well, guess what? YOU’RE A LIAR.

No one LOVES bacon. Especially not with an ass like that!!! (Kudos btw)

Bacon is disgusting. Have you ever heard bacon sizzle in a pan? BARF TIMES A MILLION! You know who eats bacon? DOGS. Dogs love bacon. No self-respecting human being eats bacon. Would you care to add a side of bacon? Uh. No! I don’t need a fucking sidekick. See, bacon? That’s all you are. A sidekick. You’ll never be Gotham’s hero. You’ll only ever be the sorta gay little dude, served on the SIDE. Anyone who says they “<3” bacon is doing it out of pity because they know bacon could never be a singular entrée. Just move over bacon and let the real men work.

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