FUCK YOU, BAGUETTE. Your flaky, golden crust and soft, fluffy center that begs for buttery spread doesn't do a damn thing for me. In fact, I think it's really dumb.

Gold should be worn...not eaten. And FLAKY people suck. So clearly, you do too.

AND WHERE DO YOU GET OFF BEING SO LONG? 

Are you trying to overcompensate?? For your lack of moves on my taste buds??

Go back to France, Baguette, and let me be.